We all have had our share of bad times. Some of us never get the chance to pick ourselves up before we let ourselves slip too far away. The mind plays a lot of tricks on you when you’re down and out. I just want to talk about some of those bad things we go through and how we could make it easier on ourselves during these times. Everything won’t apply to everyone but we all know what it feels like to be down, sad, or depressed about some of the things that happen to us in life.
We all know how hard it is to keep and maintain a job. While we may not have total control of who hires us, we do have total control of how to handle these situations. Do not ever let yourself believe that it’s impossible to find a job quick enough to get back on track. That feeling of hopelessness is all in your mind. Believe that you can find work, and it’ll be easier to deal with actually being out of work. We know that happiness won’t pay the bills, but happiness will keep you motivated enough to get yourself back on the right track. Do not go a day without filling out applications and networking with people. Constantly ask your friends about work opportunities. Ask your friends to ask their friends as well. Stay active, and keep your mind from being idle. Do not sit and think about how bad it is being unemployed. Focus on getting a job and staying positive. You’re only going to feel as good as you let yourself feel. Things have to change, nothing is forever, especially not unemployment. Also, since you now have more free time on your hands, be sure to pick up some new, or old hobbies. Working out, playing sports, or writing are great ways to spend your down time and to keep the positive juices flowing. Always feel like you’re taking steps in the right direction. When you feel like you can’t do anything else, do more.
Keeping a healthy relationship is very hard to do in 2013. People are moving faster than ever. It takes patients to maintain a relationship. Most of the time, couples are moving at high speeds in opposite directions but never have the time to stop and realize it. So, before they know, they’re sitting down having “the talk”. It’s natural to feel very bad about the loss of a partner. The feeling of having someone there for you is an amazing feeling. On the other hand, the feeling of being lonely is sometimes unbearable. We cannot force anyone to to be with us, no matter how much we believe that they’re the one for us. What isn’t meant to be, just won’t be. Pick yourself up and realize that whatever went wrong, is for the better. You will feel the hurt, but don’t let it linger around too long. It’s in everyone of us to re-group and start fresh. It’s not good for you to feel like being lonely or single is a bad thing. Being alone is one of the most underrated feelings in the world. When you’re isolated, you have time to think without interruption or clouded thoughts. You only have to think for yourself, not for a partner. That should make it easier for you to make the right decisions moving forward. Most of us don’t take enough time alone to make the right choices, so we end up back in another bad situation. Don’t be that person. Take your time, embrace that time, and slowly move towards something better. There’s always something better if you take the time to search for it. Also, it’s not always a good thing to be in a relationship. It’s better to establish yourself first, that way it’ll be easier to give that someone your all. Piling stress onto more stress will more than likely create tension between any two individuals. Be patient and you’ll be just fine.
This is one of the more difficult things that life throws at you. These are the things that we don’t see coming and that’s when it hurts the most. There are many forms of tragedy, we see it or hear about it almost everyday. We live in a world full of it. Personally, I think that death is the hardest thing to deal with or be around. If you’ve been reading my blog, or know me, than you know that I lost my father when I was young. I’ve also lost both grandparents, a brother, a few cousins, and multiple close friends. No death is any better or worse than the other, but the death of my father prepared me for things in life I never thought I’d be able to handle. That feeling of being so lost, so young, sticks with you forever. I knew when he passed that I’d never feel so low again, and I honestly have not since then. There may have been some things that were just as hurtful but I had already knew how to deal with those things. What I’m saying is, I learned that death itself is a learning experience that prepares you for anything and everything in life. You have to take your time to grieve, it’s natural. You may never get over some deaths, but you shouldn’t ever fully get over them. The fact is, a little bit of that pain sticks with you forever. You have to find a way to use that pain as motivation. It may take time, but if you have to know that eventually, it will get better. Death won’t always be a painful experience. You’ll eventually understand what death teaches you, especially the death of someone close to you. I feel like the death of my father has kept me alive. There’s a lot of things you wont do when you know there’s someone special with their eyes on you at all times. You want to live life for them and you want to live it right, so one day you both can look down on whoever you left behind.
I will never understand people who strive for perfection. Imperfection is NOT something to be ashamed of. I believe that imperfection builds character. The flaws within ourselves push us to be better people. If we were all perfect, we would not know how important life truly is. It takes hardship and pain to want better things for yourself. In order to get better things for yourself, you have to work hard, you have to stress, you have to scratch, claw, and fight for those things. If life were perfect, how could one strive for more? How could one want something so bad that they’d give anything to get it? How could one truly love anything if we didn’t know what it was like to be feel hatred? The imperfections of life are real. Perfection is a myth, it is an unachievable goal, it is a mark set by someone who refused to accept reality. I am realist and I am happy to be imperfect. I accept my flaws. It’s the inconsistencies in my life that get me out of bed each and every morning. I would have no reason to wake up if life were perfect. I’d have nothing to want, nothing to crave, nothing to work for, and no reason to live!
In no way am I suggesting any parents follow up on any advice I am about to give.
Bullying has become a major issue. I have no kids of my own, but I have experienced bullying. All bullying does not have to be physical. It could also be mental. Organizations and parents urge kids to stop bullying, which I think is the wrong approach. I don’t think the problem starts with the bully. I believe it begins with the child who is being bullied. As a parent I would let my kid know that even though someone is physically bigger than them, there’s no reason to fear them. We are all human, we all have emotions, we all have to stand up for ourselves and be taught ways to protect ourselves when we are growing up. Like I said, I have no kids but if I did I would give my kid the freedom to defend himself if physically need be rather than backing down and being a target. I hear too many parents teaching their child that getting physical is never the right way to go. I believe in some cases it is the only way to go. A bully wants to take control of a completely defenseless person. No human being should pass themselves off as completely defenseless. Take a stand, hold your ground and the bully will recognize you aren’t as weak he or she may think you are. Bullying can also be mental. Bullies have a reputation of not being to wise. If you are a weak kid being bullied, the bully obviously despises you for some reason. He our she is jealous because you have something he doesn’t. Take advantage of that fact and use it as firepower against you bully. Teaching your kid to back down will only lead them down the wrong path. They will grow to be weak and afraid of confrontation. This could lead to extreme emotional issues for the child. How you approached bullying in the past could cost you a relationship, or job in the future. Adults get bullied also, work can be allot like the schoolyard. Mental bullying is more common with adults. If you’ve been taught to back down all you life then you will be willing to let others walk all over you. In no way would I be okay with that as a parent. Build a defense against these issues early, even if it takes extreme measures. How you prepare your kid for bullying could be a major problem or solution in their future, not to mention your own future as a parent. The idea of being the bigger person is a cliche. Take action, be strong, know that there isn’t anyone out there who is more powerful than you and nobody deserves to be bullied. Don’t be the victim but don’t be the bully.