Life started out so simple, with no worries. We waddled around in search of affection from anyone close by. Our parents showered us with love, even when we did wrong. Our fears went as far as clowns, and dark rooms. We were just kids. Kids living for fun, and stopping for nothing. We were loved, and we were happy to be loved. Cartoons and snack time consisted of a good day. We never thought about money, only about our family, and friends. We had not yet fell victim to society. We were innocent. No one feared us, no one had any reason to. We followed our parents every step as they guided us through our childhood. The word love had not even made its way into our vocabulary. We were more free than we’d ever be in our entire lives, even though we couldn’t realize it at the time. We didn’t waste time, every second meant something to us and our loved ones. Being young, and carefree was easy.
Time started to pass, real life crept up behind us and struck us in the back of our heads. Reality knocked us down. The playing was over, it was time to worry, time to work, it was time to have responsibilities. Everything had a more harsh consequence behind it. We now feared something. We feared failing. The I love you’s from our parents turned into disagreements, the hugs into tears, and the joy turned into pain. As teens we were more revered, everyone felt like we owed them something. Our peers wanted to guide us and we just wanted feel loved not judged. School and work become the most important aspects of anyone’s life. The grades and money made the person. For the first times in our young lives, we began to stress, we began to want love, and we began to experience hurt in its darkest forms. It was time to grow up for everyone. We had to take our place in what felt like a new world.
Time continued to pass, as it always will. Eventually you give up on trying to feel like a kid again. Unless you’re filthy rich, you’ll always have worries, and even then nothing is promised. It’s life, and life come with problems. We all deserve better but it’s all up to us to change that. No one is going to give us anything anymore. If we have to cry, and bleed in order to reach our goals, then you should be ready to cry harder, and bleed more than anyone else. We have grown now. Although we may have been blindsided and knocked to the ground by reality, we’ve had enough time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and continue to walk with our heads high. Everything has a way of working itself out. We will hurt, but always remember that we wouldn’t know how good joy felt without pain. Never let go of those childish feelings, being grown doesn’t mean you have to forget about being a kid. Carry that kid with you wherever you go, never be too grown to want to laugh, to want a hug, and to love.
People stay stuck on things like mice to a trap. Things happen and we somehow allows ourselves to never put it behind us. Everyday, we think about something we regret. We cannot bury these thoughts. Being stuck on the past will hold you back. There’s nowhere to move but forward. Put some things behind you and leave them there. Stop crying your heart out. You will not get that ex-girlfriend back, she is gone. That old life is over, you have responsibilities now, you have kids, you have more important things to worry about. Accept your life for what it is and reach higher than ever. Those things in the past can only live in your mind if you let them. Moving on is harder for some than it is for others. Don’t be scared to move on. Take a deep breath and live. Do not look back in search of answers. The answers are in front of you. The sky’s the limit when you can free your mind of all pity, blame, and negativity. Take a step forward, away from the darkness, into the light.
There will be people who always try to kick you when you’re down. Don’t let those people keep you down. You can’t please everyone in life. Someone will always have a problem with how you live your life. Those people kick and drag you through the mud because they aren’t happy with themselves. They have to keep others down in order to feel good about themselves. Stay positive through all of their negativity. As long as you’re making an effort to do better, no one can tell you that you aren’t trying. Let those negative people believe whatever it is they want. They have no right to tell you anything, especially if they aren’t helping you. Never doubt yourself because someone else is doubting you. Use their negative energy to pull yourself up. Never lose sight of what it is you want. Only you know how to get what you need. Those people only want to see you fail. You may not be doing so well at the moment but one day you will be. When you do reach your goals, simply thank those who tried to keep you down. Thank them for motivating you to rise above their hate.
Last night was a bad night. It was one of those nights where I did a lot of self reflecting. I laid in bed, almost in a coma … thinking of things that could of been, missed opportunities, failures, anything that usually gets me in a bad mood. Normally, it’s no problem for me to sleep through those thoughts and awake to a new day. Last night was different. I felt myself slipping. I couldn’t lay there anymore, I had to get some fresh air. I got dressed, around 3am and started walking with no destination.
My thoughts on my walk were much of the same thoughts I had while laying in bed. The road was silent, everything passing thought was so clear. I figured a walk would help ease a bit of stress, but that wasn’t the case. The more I kept walking, the more lost I had become. I had been walking for about an hour now, mostly in circles. I wanted to stop and take a seat. Thankfully, I was near an old well behind the neighborhood church.
I sat at the well for an extended period of time. I was doomed with the same thoughts and those familiar feelings. I knew it was time for me to go home. As I was leaving … I heard what sounded like a gasp coming from the well. I was startled beyond belief. I slowly walked over as I could hear something, or someone calling from the well. The night was all ready bad enough, the last thing I needed was someones life hanging in my hands. I had no phone, so the most I could do is yell for help. At 3am in the suburbs, that’s something you don’t want to do. I inched closer to the well and I took a look in. I saw nothing.
I convinced myself that maybe I was going crazy, until I heard another cry for help. I knew I had to do something. I searched around for rope to throw down but no luck. The voice got louder and louder but suddenly, I recognized who was down there. I knew who needed me to save them … it was me. I got out of my bed feeling lost and here I was now trying to save myself. I couldn’t let myself stay down there, I had to be rescued and I had to do it. I knew if I were my own hero, I wouldn’t feel like I was losing myself any longer. I would be complete once again.
The pressure was building on me quickly. There was no help around. I had basically given up … then … I sat back on the well. As I listened to myself scream for help, I told myself …. “Relax …. just let go … everything will be fine.” There’s no reason to scratch and crawl your way to the top just top fall again. It was up to what was left of me to pull myself back to safety … word by word, thought by thought. As I poured my heart into that well, passing any hope to myself, I knew I was where I was meant to be. I was lost, slipping, now I knew where to find myself and how to save myself. If anyone was going to rescue me … it had to be … me !