$elf Worth

Self worth isn’t weighed by the amount of money you have, nor is it measured by your stability in life. Self worth is a currency solely dependent on ones view of themselves no matter their current or past situation(s). Looking back to a time when I had things to call my own, I believed I was worth much more than I actually was. I measured my worth according to money, friends, women, and fun. Little did I know, the more of those things I obtained, the further I strayed away from happiness. I was a tool, using myself to destroy the things I cherished the most.

As time went by, the side effects of my ignorance would take affect. I felt empty, used up, and worthless to myself. Since I felt that way about my own life, I also felt that everyone around me saw the same thing. I was convinced that my worth was diminished to a point where it could not be repaired. Those feelings would be my shadow for a very long time. Eventually, everything and everyone around me was worth just as much as I was – nothing.

I can remember being out in public, looking at others and wishing I could be in their shoes. My shoes were worn to the sole from all of the running I did during my years of depression, drug abuse, and ungratefulness. Eventually, I lost so much that I had no choice but to stop and re-evaluate everything in my life. It wasn’t until then when I could see myself from the inside out. I saw a broken person, who needed some patching up. So, I got out the glue and the tape and got to work.

Little by little, things started to make sense again. Things around me were still tattered and torn, but I had a strategy. I would line everything up, subtracting the things that were holding me down, and maximizing on the things that gave me a sense of self respect. The missing pieces were always around me, I just refused to reach for them. The love I felt that I was missing was clearly there in the form of a mother who did not give up on her son. The energy I lacked was confined deep beneath the filth layered within my body. The faith I needed was in my heart, which was boarded up from every angle.

I became a maintenance man, working on myself, fixing anything that needed fixing. From there, things slowed down and it became easier to stop and evaluate myself. Mistakes were made often, but I never put that imaginary hammer down. I would slowly start to feel like I was becoming worth more and more with everything I corrected within myself. I could see how blind I actually was now. I was worth much more than I ever gave myself credit for.

I settled for so much because it was all that I knew. I gave up quick and landed in bad spots because I lost the will to strive for better things. The things that were out of reach were now beneath me. The easiest and most valuable assets around me were within arms reach. All it took was the want and the need to surround myself with positive people and things. I felt like I belonged again. If I was denied anything, I would no longer just give in. That denial became motivation. I was motivated to feel worthy of anything this world offered.

I can now look in the mirror and feel like I belong. No longer feeling like an outcast, I walk the streets with my head held high, my heart flowing with positivist, and my mind focused on bettering myself. When people look at me, I can see that they see someone who is worth their time. I am accepted almost everywhere I go, mainly because I accepted the fact that I am worth your time, your company and your love. It is my God given duty to make others feel accepted in this world and anyone who hasn’t should make it their job to do so as well. We aren’t worthy of much when we can’t even see it for ourselves. You are worth more than what the worlds puts out sometimes. You just have to have the faith to know that you can get there as long as you dedicate your life being seen as worthy, not only to others, but to yourself as well. Peace & Love !

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Lusting For Love

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I’ve personally been through some very rocky relationships in my past – most with women who were sure they loved me but actually did not know the first thing about love. Me, I believe I have an idea of what love is, but most importantly – I do know when I love someone wholeheartedly or if I’m just putting on a show. Sadly for me, I have also had my run with women who have put on shows. Honestly, I have never not wanted to be in a relationship with the person I chose to take the leap with. Far too many times do I see women who just want to be in love and not actually caring who it is they’re in love with. That’s what I call lusting for love. Those are some of the toughest relationships to deal with because those type of people are hard to crack and will do anything to keep their lust for love fed. It is a dangerous game once a partner sees that their lover is just with them because they fear being lonely, instead of naturally feeling like they belong with you.

Last night was a prime example of how a person can be very misleading with love. I will not go into details but a female whom a very good friend was dating showed her boyfriend that she was with him for all the wrong reasons. Once he caught wind of who she truly was, she did everything in her power to keep things going – to keep herself happy and in love, regardless of how hurt my friend was about the situation. Girls who just want to be with someone for the ride aren’t easy to break as I said before. You have to notice the little things they do to crack their code. These type people are usually party going, materialistic type of people whom have a hard time staying in one place too long. Watch out for these people on your journey to the promise land of love, because you won’t see them coming. Be aware.

Post From My New Blog — Finding Our Way Through

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We can only reach new heights by getting over our lowest points. There are ups without downs. Embrace the hard times and use them to elevate yourself to a higher plateau. Our emotions entrap us at times, keeping us grounded. It is normal to feel sad during hard times but it is also possible to feel happy during sad times if you allow the joy to overcome that sorrow within you. I am happy at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel sadness at any moment. You control your emotions. If you feel sad, it is because you allow yourself to feel that way. Stop the sadness and allow yourself to feel happiness when you need it the most. If all else fails, listen to the song in the link – Pharrell Williams – Happy

Check out my NEW blog “Finding Our Way Through” here — http://findingourwaythrough.wordpress.com/

The Inside of Change

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Regardless of how you spent the every second of your life before today, feel free to change everything and anything you feel necessary. Don’t hold yourself back, trying to be someone everyone else is used to. People may say you’ve changed, but change is for the better sometimes. Do whatever you need to do to get your life straight. Put yourself in place to do things differently, hopefully opening your mind up to new things and new ways to go about living life. Don’t feel the need to always be the same. You won’t be losing yourself with change. You’ll be finding a part of your that you didn’t know was there. You have to change to grow, so go for it. It is 2014 and most of us need something new. New goals, new people in our lives, new stories; all while doing away with old and tiring habits.  A change is needed and we need to change now, before we become too familiar with those olds ways. Search for something different, be someone new, and you never know what new opportunities will arise.

Generation of Change

I sit back and often wonder if there is any hope for this generation. People my age (26) and below seem so misguided, and they believe there’s nothing wrong with not knowing anything about what’s going to happen in their lives down the road. We’re walking around as if there’s no tomorrow or any reason to prepare for tomorrow. Well there is a tomorrow and we better start changing some things today if we’re going to survive.

Sex, money and fun is everything to younger people these days. They look for sex constantly, but do not know the first things about love. They’re out having fun everyday but do not know how to be content at home and safe with loved ones. Money is their top priority but they do not want to do the things necessary to ensure that they will have a enough money to support themselves in the future.

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Sex can wait. So many of us have kids(I have none) and do not even care if we have more. If you’re younger than 30 and have one kid, than that is manageable; but there are kids out here 24 years old with three kids and they fail to change their sexual habits. Being sexually active is something you need to think twice about when you’re out there having kids. Think about cutting back, to keep yourself from becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant. Not only is it a bad idea to have kids at a young age, but most these kids are growing up in single-parent households. If we can’t offer a healthy family setting for our children then we need to get our priorities in order.

There’s no simple answer to any of this but you can help yourself. If you want to raise kids the right way, then it is best that you really start taking your life more serious; not throwing yourself around to anyone willing to sleep with you. Today, just sleeping with someone seems to be a good enough reason to start a relationship and that is truly a shame. There is no more dating or getting to know someone. People are hopping into these quick relationships, having kids, and then finding out that they made a mistake somewhere down the line. At that point it is too late to just up and leave someone, unless you’re preparing yourself and your kid to struggle by not having a complete family and the needed support of a complete family.

Money

Money, we all know how much we need it to take care of ourselves. Do not mistaken taking care of yourself with having money, because they are not the same thing. Our generation is working and spending – that’s it. They are not putting money away for the future. They are setting themselves up to be working for the rest of their lives with no chance at taking the next step. You have to sacrifice the dollar chase and focus on the things that will bring the cash in when it matters most – later in life when it’s time to settle down and be serious.

Focus on establishing a career, or meeting your goals and see where that takes you, before you start spending anything. Save your money while you work your way up the ladder because the ground beneath you can break at any moment – leaving you with little financial stability. When you get to the point in life when you have the job you’ve worked so hard for – then you can afford to be a little more loose. You cannot afford it while you’re working as a nurse or dropping off packages in the middle of the winter. There’s more to life than that if you to search for it.

Fun can wait as well. Have fun when you do not have to go home and worry about if you spent too much money while you were partying all weekend. Have fun when you can actually go home and feel good all week, without worry and stress. For the youth, having an excessive amount of “fun” is just an escape or a way to impress others. These people aren’t really having fun, because eventually they’ll realize that they have wasted a lot of valuable time. You could have been working towards goals instead of drinking and throwing your money away.

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Save your time and money. Cut back on the fun, because it isn’t going anywhere. If you choose to live it up now, then you won’t have much to celebrate about when it counts the most. You’re taking away from the time you need to focus, throwing it away, instead of preparing for the future. Not only your future, but your children’s and your family’s future as well. You’ll have a lot more fun at 30 with no worries and a healthy family to come home to, opposed to being a mid-20 something who goes out and blows their whole check on drinks, food and drugs; then going home to an empty bed.

The signs to do better are all around us, but we have to take notice to them. I am apart of this generation, but I’ve survived the blindness. Now I can clearly see our destiny if we do not change our ways. I want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves in the future, even if that means shutting it down for now. Now is our time to grow and learn. You do not want to look back on yourself and wonder how you managed to miss the signs. Read the signs and look for help. Improve yourself – our generation needs a hand, a guide to a better future, but only you can help yourself. Most of us will learn when it is too late, but some of us will be smart enough to know that they need to do better now, so that we can truly enjoy ourselves in the future. Congratulate yourself later, but let us start the change now.

Weathering The Storm

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The wind spoke to me and said I should go

I followed, I walked, until I ran into snow

The rain would tell me to continue my journey

Then the thunder clapped, but lightning had warned me

This a place where you will need some protection

A little light in the night, and darkness for reflection

Run, run and never look back

Life is too grand to fall in a trap

The rain was pouring but I knew that could change

Still, I keep on running, with success on my brain

All of the weather had just finally started to clear

When the sun starts to shine, then happiness is near