Living

Be Who You Want To Be !

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being_me_by_bobsmade-d4umcya

Feel free to be whoever you want to be. There’s no fun in being the same person all the time. Find new things to do, new ways to dress, and different ways to think. You will always be you. Life is moving and changing so fast, try to keep up with the times. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re being out of character. You’re just finding ways to be different. Some people may not understand why you may be all of sudden interested in exploring untouched sides of yourself. Let those people be boring, go be fun and creative. Don’t allow empty judgmental people keep your from doing whatever you want.

You have to open your mind up to new things before you take action. You have to want to be different in order to actually be different. You cannot just fake it. It has to be within you. Stop holding back and let go for once in life. Don’t even listen to yourself if you have to. You could be the biggest roadblock in between you and change. Don’t be the one to keep you down. Feel free, be free, and live free. I’m not saying wake up and sign up for pilot courses, although that seems like a good idea to me, but what I am saying is do not tell yourself that you aren’t that type person to sign up for those courses. You are whoever you want to be, whenever you want to be. Once you realize that, you’ll start having much more fun. Be you, but be different.

 

Dark Cloud

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darkcloud

There’s a dark cloud above me. This dark cloud isn’t just any dark cloud. It rains pain and hails fire. Everywhere I go, whatever I do, I know that any second this dark cloud could unleash its fury. Some days I just stand there, looking at this cloud as it darkens my life. Some days I look through it, knowing there’s are brighter skies nearby.My forecast is dark, my emotions are drowning in the rain pouring out from the dark cloud. I am drenched in its sorrow.

I am hopeful that one day I will look up and see blue skies. This seems to be just a dream but dreaming is better than my reality. I can only escape the shadow of the cloud in my mind, and in my soul. No matter how dark the skies become, I keep a bright spot within me. A spot that the dark cloud cannot reach even with its mightiest downpours. I remain hopefully through all this darkness. I refuse to drown in pain, instead I live with hope of brighter days.

Here I Am

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ground

I’ve given it my all and I still seem to fall. I’ve tried to stand tall but the ground beneath my feet rumbles and brings me down. I try to get up, but I slip, I crawl, and I fall right back in place. If I could just get to my feet, I could Walk away from the broken pavement. I could step over the cracks, onto the greener grass nearby. Here I remain, stuck, watching others stare in shame, pointing, and laughing.

They don’t know how hard it is to step froward when you’re standing on unsubtle ground. They have never been in my place, they know only what they see. They don’t know that it could be them here instead of me. One wrong turn could lead them down a broken road. Only if they’d help me, I’d help them avoid making the same mistakes I did.

I wish things were different. I wish I could walk freely, think clearly, and live peacefully. I know my position isn’t the best but I only make the best of it. Every time I get to my feet I feel a slight spark of hope. Maybe one day the rumbling beneath me will end. Eventually I will step forward and live on even grounds. Nothing can keep me down forever. I will stand tall and walk proud one day …. some day.

Trading In Old Habits For A Fresh Start

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new-life fresh start

I’ve recently rebooted and gave myself a chance at a fresh start. My second life has now begun. The days of partying every weekend is over for me. Honestly, I am happier now than I ever was then. It was fun going out with my friends, getting drunk and having a ball, but I will never get that time back. Today, I am more about getting things done and focusing on my future. I have so many things I want to do in life. All the partying had to come to end in order for me to really see things clearly. I still go out every once in a while, but normally to congratulate myself on accomplishing goals. Getting drunk and going out is kind of an award now. Back then, I just did it to escape my problems after long stressful weeks. I realized that I had to face the stress head on. My solution called for more working and less playing. Now I have more time to write, work, think, and prepare for the future. I spend my time so much more wisely now than I did before. I never thought being so isolated could be so much fun. I take pride in working toward better things in life. When I’m all settled and I’m able to kick my feet up, that’s when I’ll start to get back out there and enjoy myself. It won’t feel like I’m wasting my time out at clubs when I have met my goals. This is a new me, aiming for new things in my second life. It will be a challenge but I’m more than ready to excel in life.

Perfecting The Imperfections of Life

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perfection

I will never understand people who strive for perfection. Imperfection is NOT something to be ashamed of. I believe that imperfection builds character. The flaws within ourselves push us to be better people. If we were all perfect, we would not know how important life truly is. It takes hardship and pain to want better things for yourself. In order to get better things for yourself, you have to work hard, you have to stress, you have to scratch, claw, and fight for those things. If life were perfect, how could one strive for more? How could one want something so bad that they’d give anything to get it? How could one truly love anything if we didn’t know what it was like to be feel hatred? The imperfections of life are real. Perfection is a myth, it is an unachievable goal, it is a mark set by someone who refused to accept reality. I am realist and I am happy to be imperfect. I accept my flaws. It’s the inconsistencies in my life that get me out of bed each and every morning. I would have no reason to wake up if life were perfect. I’d have nothing to want, nothing to crave, nothing to work for, and no reason to live!

Distant Generations

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generation-gap

As a 25 year old, it’s safe to say that I belong to the new generation. Past generations have all had their own styles and ways of doing things. Some would say that my generation is the most problematic and hopeless generations of them all. Kids brought up with bad morals, careless parents, economy crisis, violence, and drug abuse. I’m not denying the fact that life today is pretty complicated for the youth but I refuse to believe that we have no hope. We aren’t perfect but we deserve respect. A respect that’s been lost between us and our elders. We’ve become two groups of people who have nothing in common and are forced to live and breathe the same air.

It seems as if there will always be this battle between generations. One relationship I share with my mother’s boyfriend is a prime example of that battle. We come from two completely different places, with two completely different ways of doing things. I go right, he goes left, he goes up, and I go down. Two complete opposite people that have to somehow bond because of the relationship we share with my mother.

My mother’s boyfriend and I have had our battles throughout the years. He saw me as a kid from a generation that didn’t appreciate anything. I saw him as a man from a generation that didn’t know anything about my generation. We instantly clashed. I personally didn’t have an issue with how he did things or what he thought of me or my peers. It seemed like it was a bigger deal to him. He was and still is the type of person that’s good at doing things with his hands. A real blue collar worker with some military and construction background. Me being his opposite, I always approached the situation with my brain. I was good with computers and thinking of safer and more efficient ways of getting things done opposed to his hands on style.

My way was never good enough for him and His way couldn’t cut it when I needed his assistance. This went on for years. Even though we had this common disagreement about everything, we both knew that we needed each other because truthfully, there was no one else around to help. That realization really opened up both of our eyes. There was no reason to fight about who’s way is right or who’s generations was smarter, it was time to use our strengths to make up for the other’s weaknesses. I was the one planning things, using the computer to find materials we needed, and information we could use to aid us in projects around the house or on jobs we did together when helping family members. He was the one who executed the plan and lead the way when it was time for the physical side of our equation.

We had found a way to connect the distance between our generations. The less time we spent arguing, the more time we had to get things done. We stopped caring about which of us were right, who’s generation was smarter, why we were wrong and started caring about having one goal and helping each other reach that goal. Things started to run a lot smoother between us from there on out. We had solved an everlasting problem between two generations. We found a way to stop discriminating against one another’s abilities or lack there of and started to teach each other to be just as sharp as the other in their own respected fields. Now If our divided generations could see how things how we see them, we wouldn’t have this resentment towards each other. We could come together and work as a unit so there won’t be a gap between the generations of the near and distant future.