Somewhere, there’s a sense of security that I can’t find.
I’m walking away from the pain and into the shade,
away from the white and into the grey.
There was once peace, but that’s all gone.
All that’s left a piece but it has no form.
Someday, I swear I’ll find some comfort, away from the black cloud above my head.
For now, I will duck and I will dodge, away from the hurt.
Buried in sorrow as heavy as dirt
We all have had our share of bad times. Some of us never get the chance to pick ourselves up before we let ourselves slip too far away. The mind plays a lot of tricks on you when you’re down and out. I just want to talk about some of those bad things we go through and how we could make it easier on ourselves during these times. Everything won’t apply to everyone but we all know what it feels like to be down, sad, or depressed about some of the things that happen to us in life.
We all know how hard it is to keep and maintain a job. While we may not have total control of who hires us, we do have total control of how to handle these situations. Do not ever let yourself believe that it’s impossible to find a job quick enough to get back on track. That feeling of hopelessness is all in your mind. Believe that you can find work, and it’ll be easier to deal with actually being out of work. We know that happiness won’t pay the bills, but happiness will keep you motivated enough to get yourself back on the right track. Do not go a day without filling out applications and networking with people. Constantly ask your friends about work opportunities. Ask your friends to ask their friends as well. Stay active, and keep your mind from being idle. Do not sit and think about how bad it is being unemployed. Focus on getting a job and staying positive. You’re only going to feel as good as you let yourself feel. Things have to change, nothing is forever, especially not unemployment. Also, since you now have more free time on your hands, be sure to pick up some new, or old hobbies. Working out, playing sports, or writing are great ways to spend your down time and to keep the positive juices flowing. Always feel like you’re taking steps in the right direction. When you feel like you can’t do anything else, do more.
Keeping a healthy relationship is very hard to do in 2013. People are moving faster than ever. It takes patients to maintain a relationship. Most of the time, couples are moving at high speeds in opposite directions but never have the time to stop and realize it. So, before they know, they’re sitting down having “the talk”. It’s natural to feel very bad about the loss of a partner. The feeling of having someone there for you is an amazing feeling. On the other hand, the feeling of being lonely is sometimes unbearable. We cannot force anyone to to be with us, no matter how much we believe that they’re the one for us. What isn’t meant to be, just won’t be. Pick yourself up and realize that whatever went wrong, is for the better. You will feel the hurt, but don’t let it linger around too long. It’s in everyone of us to re-group and start fresh. It’s not good for you to feel like being lonely or single is a bad thing. Being alone is one of the most underrated feelings in the world. When you’re isolated, you have time to think without interruption or clouded thoughts. You only have to think for yourself, not for a partner. That should make it easier for you to make the right decisions moving forward. Most of us don’t take enough time alone to make the right choices, so we end up back in another bad situation. Don’t be that person. Take your time, embrace that time, and slowly move towards something better. There’s always something better if you take the time to search for it. Also, it’s not always a good thing to be in a relationship. It’s better to establish yourself first, that way it’ll be easier to give that someone your all. Piling stress onto more stress will more than likely create tension between any two individuals. Be patient and you’ll be just fine.
This is one of the more difficult things that life throws at you. These are the things that we don’t see coming and that’s when it hurts the most. There are many forms of tragedy, we see it or hear about it almost everyday. We live in a world full of it. Personally, I think that death is the hardest thing to deal with or be around. If you’ve been reading my blog, or know me, than you know that I lost my father when I was young. I’ve also lost both grandparents, a brother, a few cousins, and multiple close friends. No death is any better or worse than the other, but the death of my father prepared me for things in life I never thought I’d be able to handle. That feeling of being so lost, so young, sticks with you forever. I knew when he passed that I’d never feel so low again, and I honestly have not since then. There may have been some things that were just as hurtful but I had already knew how to deal with those things. What I’m saying is, I learned that death itself is a learning experience that prepares you for anything and everything in life. You have to take your time to grieve, it’s natural. You may never get over some deaths, but you shouldn’t ever fully get over them. The fact is, a little bit of that pain sticks with you forever. You have to find a way to use that pain as motivation. It may take time, but if you have to know that eventually, it will get better. Death won’t always be a painful experience. You’ll eventually understand what death teaches you, especially the death of someone close to you. I feel like the death of my father has kept me alive. There’s a lot of things you wont do when you know there’s someone special with their eyes on you at all times. You want to live life for them and you want to live it right, so one day you both can look down on whoever you left behind.
As a 25-year-old adult, I am associated with a lot of people my age or younger. This gives me a chance to get a closer look at how my generation is moving along in life. In some aspects, we are going a fairly decent job. There is one aspect in which I think we are failing miserably at in and that’s relationships/love. We could do much better as people if we take a look at some of the things we’re doing wrong and put forth the effort to make a lasting change. From here I’d like to point out some of the reasons we are doing such a terrible job at being lovers and maintaining healthy relationships.
HAVING CHILDREN – Being so young, it’s not such a great idea to have kids of your own. You are still learning how to be an adult yourself. To make matters even worse, most of these kids are growing up without one of their parents in the picture. Young kids today are so quick to give up on their partners or to screw their relationship up in some way. I have so many friends and people I know who have cheated on their pregnant girlfriends or girls who are pregnant who leave their partners in search of something “better”. These people are not taking their future or their children’s future serious enough. They are being selfish when it comes to the fact that a child needs both parents in their lives. Being separated from your partner will eventually take its toll on your child at some point in their lives. I’m old school and I truly want to wait to have kids until I’m married. I know that’s a hard thing to do but the fact that I’m actually trying to do it makes a difference. This generation needs to be more careful before and after they have kids. If you do find yourself with a child on the way, do whatever you can to keep your relationship healthy, not only for yourselves but for your child.
UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLES – Many young people are moving at high speeds in life. Drinking, drugs, and partying. Being involved in these things will eventually cost you a relationship or two. It’s very hard want to marry someone who is constantly out doing drugs and partying. I know people who don’t even do drugs or party but they surround themselves with people who do. This also isn’t something that’s going to help your relationship, it will only hurt. If your partner doesn’t drink, or party as much as you, they will eventually either join you or get tired of seeing you leave them for such activities. It’s best to remain single if you know you like to surround yourself with drugs and alcohol.
BAD TIMING – Timing is an important aspect of any relationship but it is commonly overlooked. Rushing into a relationship is done far to often by people my age. Some of us can’t stand to be lonely so we are on a constant search for a partner. Most of time we rush things and we’re not even close to being ready to handle a serious partnership. If you know you don’t have time to be with someone then why would you waste their time? We have to be patient when looking for someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Love is a process and not something you can force by jumping into bed with someone. Rushing into a relationship doesn’t give you enough time to even get to know that person. You may overlook some things that you won’t like in the future, things that could destroy your kinship.
GOALS – No one knows how our futures will pan out. When you’re in a relationship, you don’t worry about it, but you should. Being so young, there’s a chance you aren’t at the point in life where you are financially or emotionally ready to settle down. This could mean that you aren’t happy with the position you’re in and you know you have to work twice as hard as anyone to reach those goals. This is not the time for you to focus on anything else other than work and putting yourself in position to be able to take care of a family. There are people out there who will stuck by your side no matter how bad you’re doing or how unsure of the future you are. Most people want to feel secure about their financial futures before they think about marriage or children. It’s best you have goals and are ready to have to work harder because your family will need you to do so. Being a 20 something adult, you may not even have a full-time job or any plans to reach your goals. At this point, you have to figure those things out before you drag someone else into the situation. Get yourself settled before you settle down with that special someone.