Dealing With Troubling Situations


We all have had our share of bad times. Some of us never get the chance to pick ourselves up before we let ourselves slip too far away. The mind plays a lot of tricks on you when you’re down and out. I just want to talk about some of those bad things we go through and how we could make it easier on ourselves during these times.  Everything won’t apply to everyone but we all know what it feels like to be down, sad, or depressed about some of the things that happen to us in life.


We all know how hard it is to keep and maintain a job. While we may not have total control of who hires us, we do have total control of how to handle these situations. Do not ever let yourself believe that it’s impossible to find a job quick enough to get back on track. That feeling of hopelessness is all in your mind. Believe that you can find work, and it’ll be easier to deal with actually being out of work. We know that happiness won’t pay the bills, but happiness will keep you motivated enough to get yourself back on the right track. Do not go a day without filling out applications and networking with people. Constantly ask your friends about work opportunities. Ask your friends to ask their friends as well. Stay active, and keep your mind from being idle. Do not sit and think about how bad it is being unemployed. Focus on getting a job and staying positive. You’re only going to feel as good as you let yourself feel. Things have to change, nothing is forever, especially not unemployment. Also, since you now have more free time on your hands, be sure to pick up some new, or old hobbies. Working out, playing sports, or writing are great ways to spend your down time and to keep the positive juices flowing. Always feel like you’re taking steps in the right direction. When you feel like you can’t do anything else, do more.


Keeping a healthy relationship is very hard to do in 2013. People are moving faster than ever. It takes patients to maintain a relationship. Most of the time, couples are moving at high speeds in opposite directions but never have the time to stop and realize it. So, before they know, they’re sitting down having “the talk”. It’s natural to feel very bad about the loss of a partner. The feeling of having someone there for you is an amazing feeling. On the other hand, the feeling of being lonely is sometimes unbearable. We cannot force anyone to to be with us, no matter how much we believe that they’re the one for us. What isn’t meant to be, just won’t be. Pick yourself up and realize that whatever went wrong, is for the better. You will feel the hurt, but don’t let it linger around too long. It’s in everyone of us to re-group and start fresh. It’s not good for you to feel like being lonely or single is a bad thing. Being alone is one of the most underrated feelings in the world. When you’re isolated, you have time to think without interruption or clouded thoughts. You only have to think for yourself, not for a partner. That should make it easier for you to make the right decisions moving forward. Most of us don’t take enough time alone to make the right choices, so we end up back in another bad situation. Don’t be that person. Take your time, embrace that time, and slowly move towards something better. There’s always something better if you take the time to search for it. Also, it’s not always a good thing to be in a relationship. It’s better to establish yourself first, that way it’ll be easier to give that someone your all. Piling stress onto more stress will more than likely create tension between any two individuals. Be patient and you’ll be just fine.


This is one of the more difficult things that life throws at you. These are the things that we don’t see coming and that’s when it hurts the most. There are many forms of tragedy, we see it or hear about it almost everyday. We live in a world full of it. Personally, I think that death is the hardest thing to deal with or be around. If you’ve been reading my blog, or know me, than you know that I lost my father when I was young. I’ve also lost both grandparents, a brother, a few cousins, and multiple close friends. No death is any better or worse than the other, but the death of my father prepared me for things in life I never thought I’d be able to handle. That feeling of being so lost, so young, sticks with you forever. I knew when he passed that I’d never feel so low again, and I honestly have not since then. There may have been some things that were just as hurtful but I had already knew how to deal with those things. What I’m saying is, I learned that death itself is a learning experience that prepares you for anything and everything in life. You have to take your time to grieve, it’s natural. You may never get over some deaths, but you shouldn’t ever fully get over them. The fact is, a little bit of that pain sticks with you forever. You have to find a way to use that pain as motivation. It may take time, but if you have to know that eventually, it will get better. Death won’t always be a painful experience. You’ll eventually understand what death teaches you, especially the death of someone close to you. I feel like the death of my father has kept me alive. There’s a lot of things you wont do when you know there’s someone special with their eyes on you at all times. You want to live life for them and you want to live it right, so one day you both can look down on whoever you left behind.


For Love & Death (Short Story)

scary woman

Emma stood there shattered, broken in pieces as her son 8-year-old son Eric Free is being lowered into the ground. Tears fall down her pale face as she looks around at all the blank stares on the faces of her closest friends and family. Emma just wants to go home and be alone, the pain of burying her only son is weighing in on her quickly. She makes an early exit, pushing off family members as they try to keep her from leaving the dark emotional scene. Everyone watches as she slowly walks away, crying hysterically, everyone feels sorry for Emma. Those people feel like they are losing her as well as her son. Emma continues her painful walk through the graveyard when she encounters strange woman in a dark cloak holding a flask while she lies atop a grave. Emma tries to offer her some help. The strange woman is unresponsive. She pleads for the lady to get up. Emma has been through enough pain and she doesn’t want to see another mother drown in a deep-sea of emotions. Emma reaches to grab the woman when suddenly the woman quickly grabs a tight hold on Emma’s arm. Emma is pulling trying to free herself but she can’t. The woman breaks out in laughter as she tugs on Emma’s arm. The cloaked lady scratches Emma, drawing blood, and she dabs the blood on her tongue and licks Emma’s palms. She finally releases Emma. Emma quickly flees the weird scene. The strange woman screams .. ” Eric is waiting … He’s waiting for you Emma!”. The mention of her son’s name brings Emma to a halt. Emma turns around and runs back toward the grave where the lady was. The lady has vanished, Emma looks around and there’s no one in sight.

Emma pulls up to her driveway, she takes out a picture of Eric and stares at the young boy’s smiling face. The picture makes her smile as she remembers the joy Eric brought to her life. She steps out of the car and closes the door. On the way up to the front entrance, she hears a rumble in the nearby bushes. She slowly begins to walk over to check what’s going on. She reaches to look through the bush when a black cat jumps out and startles her. Emma takes a deep breath of relief. She collects herself and enters the house. It’s dark, and even though the house is empty, she can feel her son’s presence, as if he were still there. This feeling overwhelms her and she falls to the floor in tears. As she is crying, there’s a knock at the door. She wipes her tears and gets to answer the door. No one is there. She steps outside to look around the yard to make sure someone isn’t playing some sick joke on her. There’s not a soul in sight. As Emma closes the door and turns around, the door to the backyard is now open. Emma slowly walks toward the door, scared for her life, confused about the whole situation. This is just enough to take her mind off of her son. She wonders who is messing around with her at a time like this. Who could be so hurtful, or is it just her imagination getting the best of her?

Emma walks to the back door and closes it after taking a look around the backyard to see if she notices anyone. Emma sits down with her back toward the door. She is trying to collect her thoughts, as they seem to be running wild after such a tragic day. She recalls the last moments she spent with her son Eric. They were at a playground having a very fun day. One of Eric’s best-friends, Jason, had brought along a new ball that the two threw around most of the day. One of throws sent Eric chasing the ball as it rolled near the street. Emma was busy talking to Jason’s mother, but she noticed her son going too far out. She yelled his name, Eric looked back in response to his mother’s voice, but just before the ball rolled out into the street, a drunk driver ran up onto the curb, pinning Eric between the car and a tree. Eric and the driver both lost their lives that day. The driver was Jason’s dad, coming to pick up his wife and son after watching a football game with a few friends over some beers. Eric had no father of his own, he left before Eric was born. Emma was a strong woman, she was more than capable of raising Eric on her own, even if it were a tough task. She was just that type of woman. She loved Eric unconditionally, and everyone who knew her, knew that she loved him more than anything in this entire world. Losing Eric made her incomplete. Emma was the best mother any child could possibly ask for, but she now had no child to be a mother to.

Emma sat there, back to the door, she looked at the cabinet to the right of her. She opened a drawer on the cabinet and pulled out a gun. She lifted the gun to her head. Killing herself felt like the only thing that would set things right. She had no reason to live, at least that’s what Emma thought. Emma thought hard about pulling that trigger, her grasp on the gun got tighter and her pointer finger slowly slid across the trigger. She thought if she ended her life now, she’d be connected with her son on the other side. Suicide seemed easier than living with the pain of Eric’s death. Suicide wasn’t an option, it was a reality. Her pointer finger was twitching, she began to pull it slowly, just before she could end it all, she saw a figure near the front door. She slowly put down the gun and wiped her eyes to get a better look at what it was in front of her. It was the cloaked lady from the cemetery. Her dark figure stood there, Emma was too afraid to move. The cloaked lady raised her arm and pointed. Emma didn’t know what this meant. As Emma slowly got to her feet, the woman began to walk off into the living room. Emma demanded the she stop. The lady ignored Emma’s request. Emma rushed down the hallway in pursuit of the lady. As Emma entered the living room, the lady was making her way upstairs. Emma rushed up the stairs. The dark figure made her into Eric’s room, closing the door behind her. Emma hesitated to enter. She began to cry, not knowing what was going on and why this lady was in her house. Emma begged the lady to come out, this attempt failed. The lady began to laugh just as she did in at the cemetery. Emma was angry, she grabbed a nearby bat of Eric’s and entered the room. She rushed in, ready to swing the bat in defense, but she was taken by surprise. There was no dark hooded lady in the room, only her son Eric.

Eric, sat on the bed silent. He was cold, covered in dirt, his wounds were still fresh, he was pale, and very quiet. Emma didn’t hesitate to give him a huge hug followed by a kiss. Emma, crying, said “She said you’d be waiting, I heard her …. you’re here … Eric … you’re here, I love you Eric, I love you” Emma was excited to have her son back. She didn’t think about why, or how he got there. She just embraced the fact that she felt complete again. All of the pain didn’t matter now, her beloved son Eric was back. Emma knew deep down that something wasn’t right, but this wasn’t going to stop Emma from giving Eric the motherly love that she felt her son still deserved. Eric didn’t speak, he just stared into a blank space, he was completely unresponsive. Emma didn’t want to let go of Eric as she continued to hug him. She wanted him as close as possible. She wasn’t afraid, she felt comfortable, she felt normal, everything was alright as far as Emma was concerned. Now with Eric back, Emma wanted to make him feel at home. She left Eric on the bed while she went to her room to grab a wash-cloth and towel so she could get Eric cleaned up. While in her room, Emma heard the laugh of the weird woman coming from Eric’s room. Emma dropped everything and ran to see what was going on. She go to doorway and the dark cloaked lady sat there on the bed, holding Eric while he sat on her lap. The woman pulled her cloak back to reveal her, pale, scarred  face. The woman was completely bald, with a piece of head missing. A dark goo flowed out of the crater on her head. Emma threw up, she couldn’t stand to look at the woman’s battered face. The woman began to laugh. Emma collected herself and asked the lady what she wanted. The lady told Emma that she didn’t want anything, she was there to take her where she belonged, with Eric, for eternity.

Emma insisted that Eric is right where he needs to be, and that she doesn’t need to go anywhere. The door slammed shut behind Emma, this startled her. Things in the room started to shake and fall. Emma demanded that the woman stop whatever it is she was doing to make this happen. The woman told Emma that it wasn’t her, but Eric who was making this happen. She told Emma that Eric was telling her that he wanted his mom back, that she needed to come with him, back home. Emma again insisted that Eric was home, and he was safe. The entire house began to shake, Emma is knocked off-balance and throw to ground where she bumps her head, which causes her to black-out. Emma is slowly regaining her consciousness. She doesn’t know where she is. She looks around to see candles lit all around, that was the only light she had. She could hear something in the room, she asked who was there, she asked for Eric. Candle began to blow out seemingly by themselves when the woman and Eric slowly walked towards Emma. Emma tried to get up, she then realized that she is bound to a chair. She screamed, and begged for the dark woman to release her. The woman told her that this is where she needs to be. She tells Emma that she saved her life, but now she’s going to have to lose that very life again. Emma yelled and pleaded, she didn’t want to die. The woman told Emma that she does want to die, that she needs to die, for Eric. Eric slowly approaches his mother, he places his hand on her head calmly. Eric smiles, Emma smiles and asks for Eric to release her. Eric tells his mom in a very eerie voice, that he cannot let her go, he needs her …. to die. Eric’s grip on his mother’s head becomes stronger, the woman starts to laugh. Eric pulls out a large crucifix shaped blade covered in his own blood. Emma starts to cry, pleading for her life, Eric raises the blade and slides it across his mother’s lips. Eric slowly opens his mother’s mouth with the blade before he jams it down her throat, killing her in an instant. The woman begins to laugh. The woman grabs Eric’s hand, she tells him that “she” is waiting. The two walk over to a doorway that leads into a dark room. They stop at the doorway, where the woman tells Eric that his mother is there … he just has to reach for her. Eric extends his hand into the doorway, he says “its okay mommy”. A cold, pale, hand reaches out and connects with Eric’s hand. Eric also grabs the dark woman’s hand as she leads them both out of the dark. Eric looks up and sees his mother, looking down at him, as blood drips from her life-ending wound. Emma smiles, and tells Eric that she loves him, she looks over to see that the dark woman is now gone. Emma and Eric fade into the darkness, together, and for eternity.


What If We Got To Choose Our Fate After Death?


One of life’s biggest mysteries is what happens to the human life after death. We have been left to wonder about the answer to that question as far back as the birth of mankind. It’s obvious that I cannot provide an answer to that question. Hypothetically speaking …. What if we were given a choice as to what happens after we passed away? I could imagine that some of us would choose Heaven, some may want their spirits to remain close to their loved ones, while some may have a darker vision of the afterlife. If I were given a choice to choose my own destiny after death, I personally would want to be reborn while retaining all knowledge obtained in my previous life.

I would choose that outcome because I find it hard to truly understand the importance of life in the short span of one lifetime. We tend to learn how valuable life is as we age and become wiser. Some grasp that value earlier than others and some of us learn a little too late. What if we knew those values at birth? I imagine we would live our lives completely different from how we lived the first time around. We would make better decisions for ourselves if we already knew the consequences behind those decisions. We’d use that knowledge we learned from our previous lives to carefully plan our next steps. We would use that wisdom as a map to a treasure buried deep within ourselves.

Some would say it would be unfair to be born with such knowledge, but think about how much of a difference it would make if everyone were already prepared for the true glory of life. Criminals wouldn’t resort to crime because they wouldn’t want to make the same mistakes they did in their previous lives. Wars would be avoided because we’ve already seen the damage done by the violence. No one would go poor because we’d already know the pain of poverty. Students wouldn’t be blindly thrown into the educational system. Schools would be crammed with kids who now know just how important education really is. We’d all know how to love and be aware of how damaging hate can be. We’d be able to rebuild the world with a vision of peace and equality.

Everyone will not agree with me and I can understand why that is. Some say living once is hard enough, but would those people want to live again if the world was truly a peaceful place? I may be mistakenly giving people the benefit of the doubt by thinking they’d live their second life in complete peace and positivity. I just couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting a better life for themselves. You’d have the knowledge to do and be anything you wanted. This knowledge would enable you to make better plans for your future. The fear of failing twice in life should be enough for someone to at least try to avoid falling into the same hole. In the end … Which decision would you make?

I’m sorry if I offended anyone in this post. I am not questioning anyone’s religious beliefs. This is me hypothetically speaking of my own choices. Thank You !


Take Control of Yourself


At some point in our lives we all have asked ourselves why we were placed on this earth. While there’s no obvious answer to that question, it’s obvious that we were placed here to live out our individual lives as we please. Each of us are unique in our own ways. Some believe we all are apart of some big plan or destiny but nobody can really but any truth to those views. The truth is we shouldn’t look for the answer to a question that has already been answered. We are put on this earth to live and to die. What happens in between then is completely up to you to decide, but only if you’re ready for that responsibility. You have to take control of you life even when you feel completely lost. It’s your job to be able to find yourself again because there will not be a search party out looking for you.

While we don’t always know what could happen next in our lives or how the future will pan out, what we do know or should know is who we are and what we are capable of. The answer to the question of why we are here, lies within all of us. Believe it or not, we all have authority over our destinies. There will be times when you feel like you have no control over anything going on around you or within you. We cannot plan out everything that happens to us but what we can do is take control of each situation as it presents itself. There will be times you fail and you will question whether you have any control of life at all. Those questions are completely normal. Still, do not lose hope when life gets a bit bumpy. The answer to all of your problems are within your mind, body, and soul. There’s no situation in life that you can’t handle as long as you have complete control of your mind, body, and soul.

When you know who you are, what you want, and how you should handle life’s problems, then you will realize that you can overcome anything at anytime. Having faith in yourself is jut as important as having faith in any person or higher power. We can’t stop tragedy, death or any of life’s mishaps, but what we can do is control how it affects us. Knowing how to react and what steps to take next after some of life’s more trying moments will prepare you for those reoccurring problems in the future. If you don’t know how you will handle something, then you need to dig deep and find those answers because nobody else can provide you with those answers. I know who I am, I know what I want to do, and I know which disadvantages there are and which advantages I have in order to get me through life without feeling like I’ve lost my grip on things. Grab control of your yourself and you will see that there are more things in life that are ultimately in your hands and not anyone else’s. Become the ruler of your actions and emotions. Don’t let outside influences make decisions that you should be making for yourself. Once you acquire that ultimate authority you just have to know what to do with from that point on.


The Life of Death

Death is one of humanities largest fears without a doubt. Early in my life, I had to face death. My father was stricken with lung cancer when I was in the 7th grade. It was that moment in my life when I realized that death isn’t to be feared but it’s to be expected. Life itself presents a much larger fear factor than death ever could.

I watched my father cringe in pain for so long, I knew it his time was coming … I understood that. I also knew that death was the easiest thing he had to deal with. When I looked into his eyes, I could see happiness. I was in the room when he passed and it was as if I instantly became aware of so many things I overlooked in the past.

Death was not the enemy. Life was my antagonist. Losing my father, I knew the odds were stacked against me. I knew my time would eventually come, but it was nothing to fear. Death … to me … is an accomplishment. You have to fear life in order to appreciate it. Fearing death, and living life will only distort your vision, fearing life and expecting death, gives you a perspective that few can truly understand.

Once I grasped that thought, that life is just scary, I eventually knew I had to face my fears. If I was afraid to live, how could I ever succeed. Fear and struggle is a common factor to success for many people. I knew I had to be 100% positive, 100% of the time in order to balance things out in my life because fear and negativity will be a constant. I knew … I had learned one of life’s greatest lessons … through death.

Living To Die

I strive only to struggle
I love only for pain
I gain only to lose
My pride is only shame

I build only to destroy
I meet to only avoid
The truth is my lie
The ground is my sky

I stand only to fall
I rise into descent
I remember only to forget
I look to succeed knowing I’ll fail

I wonder only to know
I disappear only to show
I’m found with no place to go
I’ll just keep on asking why
Why am I only living to die?