Many of you may have heard the term “I am my own worst enemy” before, but I’ve lived it. Looking back a few years ago – I was lost. The things I held close are become more and more distant with each passing day. I was a bit younger than; figuring I could afford to make mistakes, but now I realize what those mistakes has cost me. All the time I spent drinking, smoking and involving myself with witless women, was time I could have used to be productive. I know better now, but I wish I could have known then. I’m just starting to really enjoy relaxing and writing. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but never took the time to actually do it. Recently, I sat down and made it happen. All it took was time and dedication. I now have my foot in the door as a sports writer – something I should have accomplished a long time ago.
Things aren’t just going to go to waste like they used to. I now love to write more than ever – even if I spend my whole day writing, I just want to write more and more until my hands feel like they’re going to fall off. Okay maybe not to that point, but you get my drift. I would never want to look back and alter anything because I wouldn’t be to the point I am now. It took all the negative to build up this confidence and my need to avoid unnecessary things in life. I’m young and I have no kids – what do I really have to complain about? A lot is what I used to tell myself, but now I realize that I have everything to be happy about. It’s all about the future. Everything I do now feels so good because I know I’m working towards goals that’ll make my future all the more enjoyable.
This isn’t all about me either. It’s actually more about my family than anything. The sad part is that they’ll never know it. All they see is a selfish kid who’d rather write than do work around the house all day. I guess everyone isn’t going to understand why I do certain things but it doesn’t matter as long as I know I’m doing the right things in my mind. Still, I love my family and I want this for them. So I can make sure they will always be safe and live peacefully without me bringing in any drama from the streets like I used to. One day they will be happy that I ignored them to write(lol).
I knew if I were going to make drastic changes – I had to be selfish. There wasn’t going to be anymore worrying about what others think or do. I couldn’t want a relationship or someone to care for me. I knew I had to avoid some of my closest friends and family just so I could give all my focus to writing. Writing has saved my life. I wouldn’t trade many thing in the world for the ability to sit down and pour my heart onto a piece of paper, or computer screen. It’s truly a blessing that I’m headed in the right direction as a writer. I wouldn’t want to be rich, I don’t need millions of dollars and a model girlfriend – I just want to write. All of the fun, women and friends can wait on the side while I do my thing. I’m sorry if anyone takes it personal or decides to hate me for it, but understand – it’s what I need to do in life to be satisfied. I don’t jump in front of anyone who’s on their way to succeeding, so I don’t expect anyone to hop in my way. I wish everyone the best and I hope everyone can want the same for me. If not, it won’t change a thing but you won’t be there when I come out on the other side.