Month: June 2013
I live in the dark. I come alive in the night. The day is my platform, in the darkness I start to form art. Like a vampire seeking blood in the night, I’m wide awake, working towards my goals. Nothing bothers me at this time. The night air is peaceful, the summer temperatures are cool, and the whole world is sound asleep. This is the perfect time for me. I don’t have to listen to anyone, I don’t have to be anywhere, I am a loner here in the night. No one can see my faults or hear my cries. No one can get in my way. The roads are empty, and the skies are bright, at night everything feels so right.
Life started out so simple, with no worries. We waddled around in search of affection from anyone close by. Our parents showered us with love, even when we did wrong. Our fears went as far as clowns, and dark rooms. We were just kids. Kids living for fun, and stopping for nothing. We were loved, and we were happy to be loved. Cartoons and snack time consisted of a good day. We never thought about money, only about our family, and friends. We had not yet fell victim to society. We were innocent. No one feared us, no one had any reason to. We followed our parents every step as they guided us through our childhood. The word love had not even made its way into our vocabulary. We were more free than we’d ever be in our entire lives, even though we couldn’t realize it at the time. We didn’t waste time, every second meant something to us and our loved ones. Being young, and carefree was easy.
Time started to pass, real life crept up behind us and struck us in the back of our heads. Reality knocked us down. The playing was over, it was time to worry, time to work, it was time to have responsibilities. Everything had a more harsh consequence behind it. We now feared something. We feared failing. The I love you’s from our parents turned into disagreements, the hugs into tears, and the joy turned into pain. As teens we were more revered, everyone felt like we owed them something. Our peers wanted to guide us and we just wanted feel loved not judged. School and work become the most important aspects of anyone’s life. The grades and money made the person. For the first times in our young lives, we began to stress, we began to want love, and we began to experience hurt in its darkest forms. It was time to grow up for everyone. We had to take our place in what felt like a new world.
Time continued to pass, as it always will. Eventually you give up on trying to feel like a kid again. Unless you’re filthy rich, you’ll always have worries, and even then nothing is promised. It’s life, and life come with problems. We all deserve better but it’s all up to us to change that. No one is going to give us anything anymore. If we have to cry, and bleed in order to reach our goals, then you should be ready to cry harder, and bleed more than anyone else. We have grown now. Although we may have been blindsided and knocked to the ground by reality, we’ve had enough time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and continue to walk with our heads high. Everything has a way of working itself out. We will hurt, but always remember that we wouldn’t know how good joy felt without pain. Never let go of those childish feelings, being grown doesn’t mean you have to forget about being a kid. Carry that kid with you wherever you go, never be too grown to want to laugh, to want a hug, and to love.
When everything becomes familiar, we have become too comfortable. All of those familiar things are constant reminders how of we have become stuck in place. Being familiar with things isn’t always bad but being familiar with everything is never good. Our goals lie in unfamiliar places, places we have yet to reach. It’s those unfamiliar things that keep us moving on. No one wants to be surrounded by the same things all the time. Eventually you will notice how everything around you becomes dull and pointless. When you realize this, you have to find some refreshment. Don’t let things get familiar. Search for something new, always.
I am at a crossroad. All the signs are scattered on the ground. I look around knowing that one of the roads leads me on a journey to happiness. I am also aware that one of these roads leads me down a familiar path, onto journey of struggle and pain. This is a road I a want to avoid, but also a road I know my way around. If only these signs guided me to security, I would have no haste, as I would have already began my mission to happiness. Not many people have gotten to this point. Those people didn’t have a chance to move forward, they fell deserted on their journeys in life. I do not want to parish, I have to make the right choice. This is not about luck, but only of faith. Faith will carry me on through the rain, over the craters, and through the fire. Faith will be my map, I follow its lead through the dark. It’s time to stop thinking and to start doing. My mind and my heart is in sync. The decision is made, I will take my first step to a better life, and I will carry the fire from the past in my heart as I travel in hopes of reaching my final destination. I will reach a place of happiness and return to the crossroad to lead my people through to share the joy on the other side.