Marriage Being Destroyed By Affairs

How many of us has experienced infidelity on a personal level? Most of us have dealt with the issue one way or another. Cheating sadly has become a way of life for humans. 17% of all divorces are caused by cheating.  This is a fairly high number considering all of the other reasons marriages end. There may not be an answer to why so many people chose to have affairs, but questions will continue to be asked. As time goes by, more and more relationships are falling victim to infidelity. There is no quick nor easy solution to the problem. The human’s desire to cheat is fueled by the fact that we are sexual beings who have trouble controlling our need to please those desires.

The passion for sex builds within us at an early age. In the early stages of our teens, we start to grow curious about the act of sex. Our hormones start raging out of control, and our minds become fixated on exploring things sexually. Kids normally start out with pornographic material. X-Rated images and movies only further the teenager’s sexual curiosity. Teenagers who become more active during the sexual growth period are more likely to experience sexual activity earlier than teens who aren’t as socially involved. Although teens who are not active aren’t physically sexually involved, their sexual appetites will grow stronger along with their curiosities. This is the beginning of an uncontrollable sexual journey.

As we grow older and enter the stage of young adults, we become more emotional. Now instead of meeting our sexual goals, we want to explore the world of love. That’s when we start to get involved in serious relationships. Some of us get lucky and actually find a relationship that lasts forever. Most of us will have to go through many different partnerships in search for the person we will eventually marry. If we’re lucky enough, we will eventually find that special person. What happens from here is pretty typical. You’re in love, you’ve been with this person for years, so you decide to get married.

Now, so much has happened since you were just a teen wondering what it felt like to have sex. So many things have changed since then. You have a house, kids, a career, you’re going bald, your life is nothing like it used to be. There’s still one thing about you that really has not changed, and that’s your sexual desire. Some people can control those desires enough to be content about having sex with one person for the rest of their lives. Those of us who can’t, have to try a little harder to remain that loving and loyal spouse. Also, being married can be taking a toll on you mentally. Even if that is not case, there’s always the possibility that you could slip up and act out on those sexual desires burning inside of you.

The future of your marriage is now in the palms of your hands. You don’t know why you’re feeling the need to be unfaithful. You could have met a person that made it hard for you to control those desires, or you may not be satisfied with the quality of the sex you and your partner are having. Whatever the reasons is, it’s still up to you to fight off those feelings in hopes of keeping your marriage in tact. Cheating does not just happen, it is a premeditated action by two parties who agree to have an affair. You are in complete control of your emotions, and actions. Although as humans, we are sexual beings, we all have free will. You have the ability to say no when you know something is wrong. It may not be an easy choice to make, but it’s the right choice to make.

If you cannot control these feelings, it’s best to do what would happen in the result of an affair anyway, and get a divorce.  That option may seem drastic but why lie to yourself if you’re unable to control your need to still sexually explore. Your days of being a curious youth are over. That sexually journey should now be behind you. All of those questions have been answered. You’re now an adult with the responsibility of being the best spouse you can be, not only for yourself but for your partner and your family. The choice is yours, is cheating really worth the trouble? Or will you find a way to suppress your childish desires in order to save your marriage?

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4 thoughts on “Marriage Being Destroyed By Affairs

  1. After reading your post on infidelity and marriage… I’d like to offer my opinion on the subject. I personally do not believe in monogamy so my reply may be slightly biased but I have some concerns about a few points which you’re missing.

    The whole concept of fidelity is an adapted concept which totally goes against the human nature – for both men and woman. Why should we have to fight our desires, why not simply communicate them with our partner and react on them in a responsible way which will not affect our relationship in a negative way? Have you ever considered this as a viable option?

    I was out last night and had a similar conversation with a man that is engaged, and a very attractive woman. I asked the man, whether or not he was going to let his fiance know that he had a great conversation with a woman he found attractive or was he just going to say that he shared a few beers with a man he met at the bar – that man being myself. He replied that there are some thing his soon to be wife did not need to be made aware of.

    Without realizing it he’s just started to plant negative seeds in his marriage that’s not even yet in existence. He’s not even able to express himself to the woman he’s going to (supposedly) spend the rest of his life with because he learned somewhere along the way that it’s better to give the false expectations of fidelity and monogamy than it would be express yourself in an honest manner.

    You concluded that it would be better to just get a divorce. I challenge that it would be better to communicate your feelings, start a dialogue – isn’t that what people get married for? To go through life together? Why do you feel that the need to explore sexually has to end with youth? Sex is supposed to get better as you get older because you know yourself better than you did when you were 19 and you understand the opposite sex better as well – which makes for more solid connections – sexually or otherwise.

    There’s nothing childish about desires, they are a part of us and to dismiss desires as being childish gives the impression that once you hit a certain age you should not have any, let alone react to any of them.

    Life is so much more than just rules and perceptions, it’s about spiritual growth – and believe it or not just because you do not give in doesn’t make you an adult. Sometimes growing up may actually mean giving in to a desire.

    1. Wow this is just as long as my post ! Hey, this is just MY outlook on it. There’s no definite solution to the problem. Personally, I think it DOES come down to controlling our desires. I am a bit younger and I may be wrong about some things. I have no issue admitting that. I’m speaking of only what I see and here and not from personal experience.

  2. Indeed it was long. Forgive me, a writer myself, I sometimes can get long winded. I understood your outlook. I hope I didn’t come across as knocking your point of view. I wanted to share mine and give you another perspective. It was a good read, otherwise I wouldn’t have responded. Wish you the best – keep writing!!

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