Month: March 2013
Progression makes the world spin. I know that now. Change is a constant but change isn’t always good. What is always good is progression. No single person should go throughout life without striving to be better.
I wake up with every intention at learning something new or working on something old. If I do either of those things, I have made progress. we are judged by our actions but not the intent of our actions.
We can’t make everyone happy not should we want to. We need those people who bring out the bad in us to want to be better. As long as you intend on making things better … They will eventually get better. It’s as easy as trying.
Be better at being you, be better at being better, be better at everything.
I am a writer, not a fighter. A blank sheet of paper is my enemy and I attack with my heart and my pencil. Violence doesn’t solve my problems, writing does. When I’m angry I look to that blank sheet to relieve my stress. When I’m down, I don’t come out swinging … I come up writing. I have no need to fight and every need to write. This is my release, this is my way out of trouble, this is my life. I am a writer … not a fighter.
Last night was a bad night. It was one of those nights where I did a lot of self reflecting. I laid in bed, almost in a coma … thinking of things that could of been, missed opportunities, failures, anything that usually gets me in a bad mood. Normally, it’s no problem for me to sleep through those thoughts and awake to a new day. Last night was different. I felt myself slipping. I couldn’t lay there anymore, I had to get some fresh air. I got dressed, around 3am and started walking with no destination.
My thoughts on my walk were much of the same thoughts I had while laying in bed. The road was silent, everything passing thought was so clear. I figured a walk would help ease a bit of stress, but that wasn’t the case. The more I kept walking, the more lost I had become. I had been walking for about an hour now, mostly in circles. I wanted to stop and take a seat. Thankfully, I was near an old well behind the neighborhood church.
I sat at the well for an extended period of time. I was doomed with the same thoughts and those familiar feelings. I knew it was time for me to go home. As I was leaving … I heard what sounded like a gasp coming from the well. I was startled beyond belief. I slowly walked over as I could hear something, or someone calling from the well. The night was all ready bad enough, the last thing I needed was someones life hanging in my hands. I had no phone, so the most I could do is yell for help. At 3am in the suburbs, that’s something you don’t want to do. I inched closer to the well and I took a look in. I saw nothing.
I convinced myself that maybe I was going crazy, until I heard another cry for help. I knew I had to do something. I searched around for rope to throw down but no luck. The voice got louder and louder but suddenly, I recognized who was down there. I knew who needed me to save them … it was me. I got out of my bed feeling lost and here I was now trying to save myself. I couldn’t let myself stay down there, I had to be rescued and I had to do it. I knew if I were my own hero, I wouldn’t feel like I was losing myself any longer. I would be complete once again.
The pressure was building on me quickly. There was no help around. I had basically given up … then … I sat back on the well. As I listened to myself scream for help, I told myself …. “Relax …. just let go … everything will be fine.” There’s no reason to scratch and crawl your way to the top just top fall again. It was up to what was left of me to pull myself back to safety … word by word, thought by thought. As I poured my heart into that well, passing any hope to myself, I knew I was where I was meant to be. I was lost, slipping, now I knew where to find myself and how to save myself. If anyone was going to rescue me … it had to be … me !
I’m as still as a mannequin, in the darkness. A light breaks through the black. I’m staring at the light. I am surrounded by darkness and have been for a long time. This light is calling. It’s coming closer but I can only wonder. It’s howling silence vibrates my eardrums. I’m as still as a nail but my insides tremble. I can feel my blood going cold. This light has consumed me. The closer it gets, the more free I become. I can think now, so …. what will I do? What will it do? I don’t care … there’s nothing worst than this darkness. If the light breaks me, I will fall with hope. If not, I wonder if things could get even darker? Will that light ever come back?
No matter your height, weight, or age … you will never stop growing. Not as long as you allow yourself the room needed to grow. We may never get taller but our minds will continue to stretch. Every single day on this earth gives you the opportunity to learn. Whether you learn through a message or you soak up some information, it’s all a step in the right direction.
As humans, we can easily be sidetracked by work, family, and entertainment. Let’s be honest, no one wants to sit around 24-hours a day with their heads stuck in a book, but what good is it if you’re not doing it at all. No matter how busy you may be, there’s always time to learn. Whether you’re picking up cooking skills, or seeking self-improvement help, learning is essential in our futures and the futures of our children.
It isn’t fully a teachers responsiblity to teach your kids. You have more responsibility as a parent to bring out something in your kid. Try teaching your kid things they can’t learn in school while keeping them from learning them the hard way. The more you know, the better. Your kid may want to be a scientist because one day you explained to him how people float in space because of its lack of gravity. Although he may be taught the same thing in school, there’s nothing more special than a learning relationship between child and parent.
Aside from children, it’s still important for you to drop the controller and pick up a book or two. The internet is personally my favorite learning tool. The Internet is the world at your fingertips. Stop downloading and posting for a second and learn something. Pick up on a new language, learn how to do your own taxes, whatever it may be, just plant the seed of learning and watch it grow.
Happiness is the best feeling anyone could experience. Even if it lasts for a second, being happy is just an incredible feeling. What bothers me is everyone’s goal to avoid pain in search for everlasting happiness. Without pain, we wouldn’t even know what it really means to be happy. We all want it easy but it will never be easy. We are a generation built from pain.
Our failures make is who we are, the happiness is just the payoff for success. Happiness is an emotion, pain is an experience. An experience we have to embrace in order to understand what happiness is. I’ve had more bad days than good, there’s no question about that, but I wouldn’t change that for anything … Why ? Because those bad days molded me into who I am, how I think, and how hard I work to reach my goals.
Pain is just as important of a learning tool as happiness is. In my life, personally, I don’t regret anything. Today, after dealing with so much negativity in life, I want to be happy … forever. In order to see that, I knew I had to go through more bad experiences than good. I’m proud to have struggled in life at some point. It made me embrace the negative just as much as the positive.