Relationship Red Flags

Relationships are something that almost everyone is familiar with. I’m 25 years old and I’ve had 2 serious relationships in my life. Although they are over, I am still learning from them. I see myself as someone is aware of the signs that may lead to a break-up or reasons to avoid a partnership with someone. My goal here is to help you be aware of some things that may be wrong but you cannot see or you may be ignoring. Let’s get started.

Too Early – Before you get with someone, there are a few things that can happen “too early”. For instance, sex. Sustaining from sex is always a good thing. If it happens too early, beware. That is an instant sign that you or your partner, or maybe even both of you, only want sex out of the relationship. If one of you is rushing the issue, than you are normally that person. Try holding off to test your partner in the early stages of the relationship, before it’s too late.

Another thing that could happen to early is “love”. Being in love takes time. Love at first sight is very rare and if you think you have a case of love at first sight, always question that. Your partner may tell you they “love you” within 6 months of knowing each other. That could mean that they are desperate to fall in love. They are testing you. Wanting to see if you are ready to take the next step before the right time actually presents itself. Stay away from the “L” word until you know the two of you have spent the time and emotions required to truly be in love.

Too Late – Being late for certain things in a relationship is just as troublesome as being early. Tardiness should not be an issue for the two of you in the beginning. You do not know the person’s schedule or personality well enough to worry about their timing. If it is deep into the relationship and you are for certain sure about those things, being late can be a major issue. Lies and late go hand-in-hand.

Working late is a common excuse for a partner to find time for extracurricular activities. Cheating isn’t always the result of your partners change in routine. A change of heart could be a reason. Them not worrying about being on time for you is a way to show you that they are distancing themselves. Being late isn’t always a time thing either. It could be them prolonging sex. When things change, be more aware, always.

New Friends – New friends are not always a good thing for relationships. I have close bonds with certain people and my partners were always familiar with those people. I had meet this guy at a video-game store. We started to talk about this game were both picking up. We became friends, and I started to go to his house.

My girlfriend at the time was aware but didn’t look into the situation. The truth was that my new friend has a sister he lived with. She was gorgeous and I found myself coming over just to be around her. That caused me to even be late for dates and coming home to see my girlfriend. Don’t judge me, this was when I was younger and a lot more careless.

I’ve since learned from my mistakes and I’m giving you a personal story as to why new friends could be an issue. Your partner could be me. New friends bring in new people who become your friends as well. If your partner is not around, you feel free to act as you want. Not all people are as careless as I was at one point but the truth is, some are.

Keep tabs on your partners friends and always try to meet them so you can be more trusting when they go out with them or leave to meet up with that person. It may sound foolish to some of you but it could save your relationship in the long run.

I wish you all the best with your relationships and future. If you love someone, do whatever it takes to make it last. 

 

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Racism in Video-Games

I’ve always been a fan of video-gaming. When I was a kid growing up in the 90’s, the video-game scene was totally different. There were no 3D graphics, wireless controllers, and most of all, online multi-player game-play. When you wanted to play against a friend, the two of you had to be in the same room. Now we are able to connect to people across the world in a few clicks of a button. Online game-play is very enjoyable, most of the time.

One of the most popular video-games to play online, is Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. The goal is to shoot and kill the enemy as you take control of a member of the rival military unit.  The game brings together millions of players of many different backgrounds. Owners of the new generation of video-game systems also have the option to buy a headset, which allows players to communicate with each other during game-play.

Most people who play Call of Duty own a headset. Communication is a very important part of the game. While most players use their headset or microphone to help score a victory for their team, some users use it simply to degrade other users with racial-slurs and profanity.

The abuse is far too common. There’s almost more than a thirty percent chance that you will hear someone use the “N” word during your online gaming experience. Remember, this is a game that millions of people, include kids, regularly play for hours on end. As a black male, this topic is something that I had to touch. Personally, I am not offended by racist remarks. I’m smart enough to brush off the hatred and focus on things that really matter to me. Racism has never been an issue with me. I don’t complain when someone calls me a name, if I’m overlooked, or looked down upon because of the color of my skin.

The truth is, when I recognize someone as being a racist, I actually feel sorry for them. I don’t judge them or even hate them. Their decision to hate another person because of their skin pigment is clearly a foolish choice. They are depriving themselves of having positive interactions with an entire race. Those people are usually loners, and are troubled in their own way. It’s best to ignore them and let them be.

I find it troubling for those who have an issue with racism. It’s sad that they have to go online and be subjected to such negativity. The video-gaming companies themselves do not have much control over the issue. Users can be reported for using inappropriate language but the results never change. Hopefully, in the near future there will be a way to eliminate verbal abusers.

I do not have a solution for this problem. I’m sending this message in hopes of raising the awareness of the problem. Your kids may own this game and may even be apart of the issue. I suggest a closer eye be kept on your children’s activities when they are playing video-games online, especially the Call of Duty series . Their are too many people out there with nothing but filth spewing out of their mouths. Until major change comes, it’s up to us to personally handle this problem.

The Story of My Life

My life is book. A story told by the heart, mind, and soul. The main character in my story is the heart. Like most stories, it has to have a protagonist. My mind is my heart’s greatest rival. They are in a battle for my soul. My soul knows the heart is there to guide it towards all things positive. The mind is just so persuasive that the soul has to listen.

This is a battle that may not ever end. My heart is more than just a vessel that keeps me breathing. My heart has it’s own life, it’s spirit, it’s own mind. Without it, my book would have closed a long time ago.

My heart holds the pen that allows me continues my story. My mind is quicker than my heart. The brain sometimes makes you act out before the heart can get its message across to the soul. With all the confusion going on, the story of my life has to continue. I don’t know which part of me trust sometimes.

I hope the battle going on inside comes to end.  If I have any chance at love, my heart has to be the soul controller of all my actions. My heart has to lead, it has to show me a path to the future and put the past away in a safe place. I hope my story has a  fairy-tale happy ending but in reality it could end in tragedy.

A New Beginning For The End

When you left me, I felt hopeless. My friends said there were more fish in the sea but I knew my sea had only one fish worthy of the bait. Jumping in that sea and swimming away seemed like my best option. Moving on would be moving backwards and moving backwards would now be a step forward.

So I just stood there, scared to take that next step. I didn’t think, I didn’t eat, I didn’t breath. You had left and taken the rest of me along for the trip. Time went by and little by little, I started to become whole. My stomach eventually rumbled in hunger. My mind started to free itself from your grasp.

My heart began to repair the wounds left when you shattered it. I had felt the hope of love. I figured I’d stand there until it was safe to move on. My body was weak but it was regenerating. Time passed and I felt rebuilt. My eyes opened and I could see you headed back towards me. I couldn’t figure out why.

I guess you knew I’d be stuck here until you decided to come back. By the time you returned I was complete. You left me in pieces and I had to become whole once again. Instead of giving you another chance to destroy me all over again, I used my first steps to turn around and walk a new direction, away from you, away from the past.

I stopped and looked back to see you standing there breaking apart, becoming a prisoner to a broken heart and  I was finally free, goodbye.

Walk Alone

Being alone shows strength. The longer one can be his own company, the longer one will be able to survive in a crowd. When you’re alone you have to directly deal with your problems. There’s isn’t anyone around to assist you. Being alone will make you strong. Being alone will make you proud. Knowing you can overcome anything and anyone with no help is a great blessing. Embrace those around you, but do not depend on them. Want their support but don’t need their support. May your success be unaided and you’re walk to fame unaccompanied.

Connecting With Music

Music isn’t just for our ears, it’s also medicine for our hearts. Those who  only use music to dance or for entertainment, are missing out on a great experience. You should find songs that connect with you on a different level. Use music like a tool, a tool that can fix almost anything. When an artist is making a record, they usually are in a certain mood, giving off a unique vibe for listeners to feel, not only to hear. If you don’t know where to start I’ll try to help the best I can.

When you are feeling a certain emotion, whether it be happiness, anger, or sadness, go listen to some of your favorite songs. Your emotions will automatically connect you with the music. Find the right songs for the right emotions. If you’re sad, find a song that makes you smile if you want to feel better. It depend on what you want to feel at that moment. You could be sad and just want to connect with someone who feels like you so you can vent. In this case, connect with the music.

Find a sad song with a strong story that you can’t relate to emotionally. Hearing it will make you feel like you are not alone. This works with all emotions and situations. If you are happy, there’s no reason to listen to a depressing or angry song. Listen to a energetic melody. Find music that will make you even more jovial and more active. People don’t just listen to music for no reason when they’re working out. They use the music as motivation. Find different music that bring out different emotions. Find music that affects your emotional positively when you are in a certain mood.